Mean Girls
}} Haley and Crystal recall their first meeting while fighting. Cast * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Ian Starshine ◀ ▶ * Crystal ◀ ▶ Transcript Crystal: Where are you, Haley? I looked, that barrel doesn't say ANYTHING about how magical the pickles are! I don't even think they're masterwork! Crystal: But you can look for yourself when I shove that barrel up your uterus!!! Crystal hears rustling from behind a bathroom door, "rustle! rustle!" Crystal: Wait—I hear you! Are you in the crapper? Don't think that'll protect you! Crystal: I once slit a town councilman's throat while he was taking a dump. Got a free newspaper out of it, too. Crystal sees a silhouette behind the shower curtain. Crystal: Ahhh... I see you, too. Crystal draws back the shower curtain and stabs a dummy, "eee!! eee!! eee!! eee!!" Haley is hiding behind the door. Crystal: Damn it! I was hoping to kill her, and here she had to go turn herself into a dummy made of flour sacks! Crystal: ... Crystal: Wait a minute— Haley hits Crystal in the back of the head with a sap, "WHUNK!!" Crystal: A sap? Is that all you've got? HA! Haley: Yeah, silly me. Why would I think hitting you on the head would have any effect? Crystal: This is the best! I've been waiting to kill you since that day. Do you remember that day, Haley? Haley: Oh, I remember it. I remember it like it was yesterday. Crystal swings her dagger at Haley and misses, "woosh!" Flashback to Ian Starshine introducing young Crystal to young Haley. Ian Starshine: There you are, honey. I'd like you to say hello to our latest recruit, Crystal. Young Crystal: Hey. Young Haley: Hello. Ian Starshine: She's 19, too, so I'm sure you two will have a lot to talk about. Young Crystal: ... Young Crystal: Nice boots. Young Haley: Nice haircut. Young Crystal and Young Haley glare at each other. Cut back to the present time. Crystal: DIE, WHORE, DIE!! Haley: I'LL KILL YOU FIRST! D&D Context * Masterwork Items confer bonuses due to exceptional craftsmanship, rather than magic. Being masterwork is also a prerequisite to being magically enhanced. * Sneak Attacks with a sap deal nonlethal damage, which has the chance of rendering the subject unconscious. Trivia * The comic's title is a reference to the 2004 movie Mean Girls, starring Tina Fey, Lindsay Lohan, and Rachel McAdams, a comedy about high school girl rivalry. * Haley once again uses the sap she took from Isamu in #521, and which he bought in #531. * The fourth panel, especially the sound effects, recreates the famous shower scene from Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 horror classic, ''Psycho''. * In the flashback, Haley is wearing the lime green Boots of Speed she mentioned in #3, See Spot Spot and #573, Slumber Party. The boots will eventually be incorporated into her adventuring gear after she dyes them to match her desert armor in #675. * This is the second flashback appearance of Ian Starshine, the first being in #93 Teenage Wasteland. External Links * 608}} View the comic * 97053}} View the discussion thread Category:Haley Runs Afoul of the Greysky City Thieves Guild Category:Uses Sneak Attack